When Power is the Relationship

Service Description

Most clinician trainings about BDSM try to make power disappear. It gets softened into “play,” reduced to checklists, or translated into frameworks that prioritize comfort over accuracy. However, it is the dimension of power (more than the sexual or pain play) that 45–60% of adults report having fantasies about (Dunkley & Brotto, 2018), so why aren’t we talking about it? This three-day intensive offers an in-depth exploration of power play and power exchange dynamics, designed for clinicians seeking to deepen their competency in working with kinky clients and power exchange relationships. Day 1 grounds participants in the “how” and “why” of power play, including domains of control, rituals, and nontraditional dynamic structures. Using lecture, discussion, and a panel discussion featuring those with a variety of lived experiences, we will explore how control can be structured, negotiated, ritualized, and lived—inside and outside of scenes. On Day 2, we turn toward clinical friction. Clients in power exchange dynamics are routinely misunderstood, pathologized, or subtly redirected away from the very dynamics that matter most to them. This training doesn’t just acknowledge that problem—it digs into how clinicians contribute to it. Participants will develop concrete skills for engaging power dynamics in therapy without pathologizing, avoiding, or overcorrecting. On Day 3, we move past slogans and acronyms (FRIES, SSC, RACK, and the rest) to look at what actually happens over time in real relationships: when agreements drift, when harm occurs without clear intent, when “no” isn’t simple, and when repair is possible—or isn’t. Consent here is treated as relational, embodied, and sometimes strained to its limits. Blending theory, clinical application, and community knowledge, this intensive invites participants to move beyond pathologizing frameworks toward nuanced, affirming, and ethically grounded care.